Monday, March 30, 2009

24 TV Show - March 30 Episode

Ok, Jack Bauer is infected with a biological agent and there's no cure. He's going to die in, like, 2 days. He's going to have symptoms of dimentia. Oh how when he acts all crazy he can be forgiven. But wait! Isnt he going to die? Hhhmm...won't that ruin next season's show?

No worries. I'm sure they'll find a cure in StarkWoods labs. We're up to midnight now. So there's something like 5 or 6 hours left before Jack brings the entire StarkWoods organization down.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Not Very Bright !

These contractors are installing the steel pillars in concrete to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a Sports Bar downtown. They are now in the process of cleaning up at the end of the day and anxious to go home.

How long do you think it will be before they realize where they parked?

Laugh of the Day (Airport Humor)

Sent to me by a friend...and I have NO idea how true any of it is, but it would not surprise me one bit !!!

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
(On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. While I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.'' Her response - click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas... When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'' After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing.) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California , and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.'' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' ''Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'' The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!'' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?'' The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in ! Could anyone be this DUMB ?


A Little Teacup (Inspirational)

I got this from a friend. Really good inspirational story...

I'm A Little Tea Cup....

Love this story or not, you will not be able to have tea in a tea cup again without thinking of this.

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that."

"I don't like it!" "Let me alone," but he only smiled, and gently said; "Not yet!"

Then WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was made to suit himself and then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. "Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet'.

When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on he shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is much better," I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please, Stop it, Stop, I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'.

Then suddenly he puts me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged.. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering "What's he going to do to me next?"

An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.' And I did. I said, That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!!!

Quietly he spoke: "I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened.. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this. Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter…

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Jack Bauer Save The Day (Again!)

Long overdue post: Yes, Jack Bauer saved the day once again. Saved the President...but hey, the FBI still has to arrest him (idiots). Then he's given a chance to get more info from the enemy...but the enemy turns up dead and Jack is framed for that murder (as usual). Then he goes to the senators house and he truly wants to help him if he gives himself up. Almost did. Ding...door bell. Bang, bang, bang...senator is shot (but is he dead?). Once again, Jack is framed for another murder. Now the FBI wants to shoot him on site. Forget about asking him any questions. This FBI head is a total jackass.

Not to worry. Jack will catch the bad guys in the end anyway. Like I said before, those bad guys might as well shoot themselves now and get it over with.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

George Michael Song

I was thinking about this song on the way to work today..."Last Christmas" by George Michael. I've heard the hip-hop version many times and it's great! This morning something occured to me about this song. He sings:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Okay, here's the thing now...obviously someone broke his heart last Christmas. Probably almost a year has passed by. So why is he singing a song to that guy that broke his heart that he's not going to be his lover anymore? If he doesn't want him, why go through all the trouble of telling him in a song just for him ? Hhhhmmm...could it be that George Michael he still loves him?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

24 TV Show - March 2

Saw 24 last night. Very tense episode. The head terrorist is in the U.S. and planning another attack. Jack Bauer got wind of it and is going solo (yet again) because in his words "there's no time" to tell anyone else or get permission to torture the suspects. Heck, he'll even torture them in the White House. Yea, Jack was in the White House when the terrorist attack occur. And where did it occur? Why, in the White House ofcourse. The terrorist managed to capture the President.

But not to worry, because Jack Bauer is there to save the day. Well, maybe not last night, but just wait until next week. He's been in this sort of sticky situation before and he's gotten out of it with the many dead terrorists that paid the price. Why don't the terrorist just call it quits right now and shoot themselves? They're going to die anyway!

Anyway, next week this is what I predict will happen: Jack will shoot every terrorist there and save the President. He's pardoned and won't have to go to jail. But wait, we have another, what 8 or 9 hrs to go? So, lets prolong this and start hunting for the traitors who helped those vicious and nasty terrorists. Jack will save the day next week. Stay tuned.

And another thing...doesn't everyone (including Jack himself) realize that when a major threat happens, that by some coincidence it always takes 24 hours to solve it? Are they all that dumb that they can't see this pattern emerging?

Monday, March 2, 2009

Would you use this PUBLIC toilet?

Would you use this toilet?

Hhhm...take a look at how it looks from the outside view: